Lemons.
I have an oversupply of lemons right now.
Life pretty much sucks right now. I have no idea what my future holds.
Will I be able to help support my family? Will I be happy in my new role? Will my kids be happy at their new school? So many worries.
I fell off the wagon. Majorily. I took a 3.5 week hiatus from working out. And I'm a Beachbody coach. Sigh.
Sometimes you go through life changes and it's like death. You go through the stages of grief. I've been through sadness, anger, hopelessness, bitterness, wanting to fight, wanting to give up, and more. Sometimes those stages change by the hour. Sometimes days.
I've made 3 attempts to finish Turbofire from start to finish. My first go was on 2/29, second go was on 3/28, and today I started my third go. Each time giving up because of a blow to our family's future.
This time I'm going to finish it. I have nothing else in life right now, but my workout. (Besides my family and friends that is.) Nothing in my professional life is under my control, so following the advice of a dear friend, I'm going to control what I can. Right now that is my Beachbody biz and my own personal weight-loss journey.
Is it easy? Uh...no. Do I feel like doing it? Not really. I'm probably a little depressed. Am I excited about it? I'm pretending I am. What's that saying? Fake it til you make it? Yeah. That's where I am right now.
But...there's always a but. In due time I will make it. There will be no more faking it. It will become a passion, a dream. It once was and will be again. It's buried deep inside right now with all the other feelings I have from my current life change, but it will come out. I know it. I will rise again and...I will make sweet, sweet lemonade.